Author Archives: 048276

Im going to do growing up. I think that my main characters are gonna be me and my family and have to be faced with adult responsibilities and have more trust worthiness.

TS: In The House on Mango Street and in Blues Ain’t No Mockin Bird they share the theme is family. CD: For example Esperanza says, ” By the time we got to Mango Street we were six-Mama, Papa, Carlos, Kiki, … Continue reading →

THOMS: Sally 1.Sally, who taught you to paint your eyes like Cleopatra? 2.No nosy neighbors 3.  skirt straight 4.Sally is the girl with eyes like Egypt and nylons the color of smoke. 5. her hair is shinny black like raven … Continue reading →

 My partner has a very interesting hook in her intro paragraph. She has good facts, but she could use some more tags. Her paragraphs don’tover repeat themselves. Her paragraphs are in order and they make sense. Her conclusion paragraph sums up … Continue reading →

My intro sets up my paragraphs because what I talk about in my intro is in my other paragraphs. It make logical sense. It does follow the thesis beacse I talk about the problem and the solution. My paragraphs are … Continue reading →

1st Topic Sentence: http://www.sitnews.net/0503news/051303MCA/051303_cleanup.htmlhttp://www.romancingalaska.com/southcentral/SC_kenai_beach_salamatof_beach.htm; http://peninsulaclarion.com/news/2011-08-03/beach-clean-up-process-underway#.TjqGL7-SzHg  http://www.wildlifecareofventura.org/Animal%20Help%20Information%20Pages/Nuisance%20Animals%20-%20General%20Info.htm  http://www.kab.org/site/PageServer?pagename=Focus_litter_prevention This shows that people enjoy the treasures they find and that they like going to beaches. The second link shows that the Problem can also be reduced by picking up after our selves. … Continue reading →

Revising elements: Main idea is stated somewhere in the first paragraph. Theme is clear. Main idea stays the same through out paragraphs Doesn’t change from past to present tense. Stays in one ‘tense’. Grabs readers attention Editing elements: Correct capitalization No … Continue reading →

I have discovered that I had a lot of Rest in Peace words. I used really a lot.I used I a lot at the beginnings of several of my sentences. Also I had a lot of contractions. I will use other words … Continue reading →

I think that you could have use a little bit more transition words in your commentary sentences.  You could maybe use a little but more quotes. Your paragraphs are really good! To me they flow well.  I needed to add … Continue reading →

TS: Montresor  feels no guilt for his harsh actions. CD: Montresor says,”The noise lasted for several minutes, during which that I might hearken to it with the satisfaction,I reasoned my labours and sat down upon the borers.” CM:This shows that he isn’t … Continue reading →