048276's blog

Im going to do growing up. I think that my main characters are gonna be me and my family and have to be faced with adult responsibilities and have more trust worthiness.

TS: In The House on Mango Street and in Blues Ain’t No Mockin Bird they share the theme is family.

CD: For example Esperanza says, ” By the time we got to Mango Street we were six-Mama, Papa, Carlos, Kiki, my sister Nenny and me.

CM:This shows that she has a lot of family and she is great full to have them.

CM: Also it show that home is were family is no matter were you are.

CD: For example in the Blues Ain’t No Mockin Bird it says, ” The puddle had frozen over, and me and Cathy went stompin in it. The twins from next door , Tyrone and Terry, were swingin so high out of sight we forgot we were waitin our turn on the tire.”

CM: This shows that the twins can get along because they are family and they can play with each other and have a good time together.

CM: Also this shows that it is good for family to be with each other.

CS: The themes that these stories share is family because both stories talk about family.

THOMS: Sally

1.Sally, who taught you to paint your eyes like Cleopatra?

2.No nosy neighbors

3.  skirt straight

4.Sally is the girl with eyes like Egypt and nylons the color of smoke.

5. her hair is shinny black like raven feathers

6. little window latch

7. somebody saying

8. wrong, without the whole world waitng for you

Blues Ain’t No Mocking Bird

1. “Looks like a plastic spider web.”

2. crowd cause

3 trying to talk

4.woulda done whatcha

5. clear and cold

6. other hand flies like a sudden and gentle bird\

7. fingers off the film

8.Cathy, cliimbin

I think that The house on Mango Street uses elements better than the other story. I think this because it was easier to find these elements.  The House on Mango Street uses a variety or elements more than the other story because it is more interesting by using more similies. The other story has a lot of alleration so that’s good. I think that the elements in THOMS is better because they are used more and it is a more interesting story.

 My partner has a very interesting hook in her intro paragraph. She has good facts, but she could use some more tags. Her paragraphs don’tover repeat themselves. Her paragraphs are in order and they make sense. Her conclusion paragraph sums up the other paragraphs and it makes her idea sound really good.

My partner gave me a B. I needed to fix my topic and conclusion sentences. Also I needed to replace my “…” with a comma. ALso my First concrete detail was not a real fact.  I need to fix my first and second sentence in my chunk paragraphs. In my second paragraph I restate a fact about spill proof trach cans.

My intro sets up my paragraphs because what I talk about in my intro is in my other paragraphs. It make logical sense. It does follow the thesis beacse I talk about the problem and the solution. My paragraphs are in logical order. The conclusion soso raps up the paragraphs and I need to work on it better. My paragraphs commentary sentences examine the importance of the evidence. My Ts And Cs discuss the same topics.

1st Topic Sentence: http://www.sitnews.net/0503news/051303MCA/051303_cleanup.htmlhttp://www.romancingalaska.com/southcentral/SC_kenai_beach_salamatof_beach.htm;

http://peninsulaclarion.com/news/2011-08-03/beach-clean-up-process-underway#.TjqGL7-SzHg  http://www.wildlifecareofventura.org/Animal%20Help%20Information%20Pages/Nuisance%20Animals%20-%20General%20Info.htm  http://www.kab.org/site/PageServer?pagename=Focus_litter_prevention

This shows that people enjoy the treasures they find and that they like going to beaches. The second link shows that the Problem can also be reduced by picking up after our selves.

2nd Topic Sentence:http://www.baynews9.com/article/news/2010/october/160203/Effort-under-way-to-reduce-cigarette-litter-on-beaches  http://www.ehow.com/way_5522836_tips-community-service-trash-pickup.html

Some of the most common litter on beaches are cigarettebutts. The second link shows another way to help clean up the beaches by organizing an event.

3rd Topic Sentence:http://environmentalchemistry.com/yogi/hazmat/articles/trash.html   http://www.aquarticles.com/articles/conservation/Lawler_Controlling_Aquatic_Litter.html

The first link shows that animals are harmed by our trash and that we need to help. The second link agrees that garbage cans can a will reduce litter on the beaches.

Revising elements:

• Main idea is stated somewhere in the first paragraph.
• Theme is clear.
• Main idea stays the same through out paragraphs
• Doesn’t change from past to present tense. Stays in one ‘tense’.
• Grabs readers attention

Editing elements:

• Correct capitalization
• No contractions
• No R.I.P words.
• Uses action verbs
• Correct sentence structure.

I have discovered that I had a lot of Rest in Peace words. I used really a lot.I used I a lot at the beginnings of several of my sentences. Also I had a lot of contractions. I will use other words to replace really. I will take the contractions and put them in their two word form. I will have to reword the beginnings of my sentences. so am not using ‘I’.

I think that you could have use a little bit more transition words in your commentary sentences.  You could maybe use a little but more quotes. Your paragraphs are really good! To me they flow well. 

I needed to add more transitions in my concrete detail sentences. I will add more of them in my paragraphs. I scored in the 5 and 6 ranges so I passed.

TS: Montresor  feels no guilt for his harsh actions.

CD: Montresor says,”The noise lasted for several minutes, during which that I might hearken to it with the satisfaction,I reasoned my labours and sat down upon the borers.”

CM:This shows that he isn’t guilty because he feels satisfaction.

CM:As a result of Montresor killing Fortunato makes him feel like he has accomplished something good.

CS:In conclusion Montresor feels no guilt, but feels great elation.